D Melting Pot

3 wishes

2008-08-18T13:13:00.005-04:00

If you had 3 wishes, what would they be? Would it be for self gain, or the betterment of all human kind?

I once saw a movie where a guy wished for world peace. Sounds fair enough - simple. The result was that everything on earth disappeared, and there was " peace on earth ". He then spent his other wish to get everyone back to normal. I guess the moral of that story was that not everything that is wrong in the world can be fixed by simply wishing it away. In that respect, perhaps the imperfections that create the unbalanced - and sometimes violent nature of the world was meant to be?

What is it that we truly want? I think we can all agree that is it to be happy - what that means exactly differs from person to person. Money plays a big part, because the world as we know it revolves around money, and the power that is associated with it. So a wish for money is a common one, but as the saying goes - money can't buy you love, especially when that love you're looking for is from ureself. Nevertheless, money will get you the comforts that you want - so perhaps an indirect route is what you need.

" I wish I can be inspired to write #1 hits or " I wish I can conceptualise ideas in science that are yet to be discovered" Something around that would bring you all the money you need eventually. Plus you will have the joy of working for it; Nothing that is won freely will be enjoyed to the fullest.

Avoid fads - A guy once wished he could be invisible. He promptly got knocked down by a passing car. Being invisible is nice, but having the power to assume which ever power you desire and for whatever period you want is better. Think about it!

Don't bring back the dead! Ever! Enough said. What is done is done.

For your final wish, try to be selfless. instead of the Ms. Universe world peace answer, try tolerance. Wish that all humans have tolerance for each others differences. With this tolerance, over time, perhaps, there will be the peace you wish for.

Success: There and Back again

2008-07-28T08:52:00.004-04:00

There comes a time in life where success is measured by personal satisfaction rather than actual achievement.

All through life we are pushed to think logical, emotional, radical. They teach you how to be sensible, respectable, detachable. Yet there comes the day when training is all done, and you are released in the world to do the best you can.

Until then success was handed to you on a piece of paper... An advert that TELLS you, and everyone else for that matter, how successful you have been... how good you are... how much you are worth as a human being. Somehow, that system works... and most people keep chugging along; do the do, pleasing who they have to please to get ahead.

But there comes a point in life where success is more relative. It’s a personal choice to be successful or not. I think that’s the main difference in being an adult. As a child success is defined for you. As an adult, you define you own success, and in time, the success of your own children. There’s as old saying, its better to have a bad plan, than no plan at all. I think what I have is a bad plan, perhaps a very bad plan. But it’s a plan non the less. Not the plan I intended, and certainly not leading to the same successes that I set out to achieve, we at least not directly.
Its time to re-define success, and the means of getting it...

It has always been my dream to see the world... to get out of little Trinidad and experience all this world has to offer. There is no greater failure for me than to have not achieved that prime objective. Now, through life there were several paths that lead there ( all of which I've managed to muck up to this point). Firstly there was college.... get into a college in the US or UK. Simple, but not set. That didn’t happen the way I wanted it to and I landed in Geosciences... by no means a failure... infact a great success?!?

Then there was a job/ MSc. Look for something in the US or UK again? No... Got a job in a good multi-national company locally. Another great success?!?

And finally, there was a foreign posting... which I happened to no receive. There reasons for me not getting that posting is a topic for another post, but I'll say that I lost the job due to no fault of mine... I did however land a great post in frontier exploration in the Columbus Basin... great stuff ... really interesting, what another great success?!?

It is now, at this point I need to re-evaluate my success.

Poker as a Philosophy for Dating

2008-07-28T04:03:00.018-04:00

A good poker player is analogous to a confidant man who can game women. You need to approach things logically and not get caught up in what's at stake. That is to say, irrespective of whether she's a ten or a beer goggle beauty you need to advance things logically and not let your emotions lead you astray.

In both games I think success is determined by both luck and skill. Some days your hot, lady luck is on your side and you can use that glowing confidence to your advantage. When your on a roll, nobody can stop you. Other players are intimidated by your high stack (alpha male) status. Playing with confidence draws in for the big pots (9s/10s) while your overwhelming chip count (success and confidence) helps women gravitate toward you. Enjoy the it while it lasts.

Other times, the game will be cold and unforgiving...there's little you can do to change the hands your dealt. You can bluff your way through (liquid courage...aka alcohol), but more often than not people will see through your bullshit facade. In times of famine, ones low stack status (beta male / AFC) will lead to "all in" behavior or "tilt" as they call it in poker. The hit or miss hail Mary scenario where you drunk text, call too much, or the mother of them all: propose.

I've been playing both games for a while now, and though I'm no WSOP/PUA guru, I can tell you that you can't use cold cards as an excuse to stop playing the game or play irrationally. If you step back and look at the bigger picture, it'll become apparent that the outcome is not determined explicitly by the cards you're dealt but how you choose to play them.

You need to step up with confidence and know how to go about using your skills and attributes to your advantage. So you weren't born a Trump, Gates or Slim; you're not smooth like Don Juan or Casanova; and your intellect stems nowhere near that of Nietzsche, Kubrick or Einstein.

You may be none of these things but you are a goddamn man. A long time ago, not long after you were born into the world and became aware of the life around you. You had dreams, you had aspirations, you had an imagination of things you could accomplish and the cognitive innocence to believe nothing otherwise.

Some old Auntie who you'd never met, and wore too much makeup would come over, rub your cheeks with a gleeful smile and ask, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" And if you only had the vocabulary you have now, it would have been, "A motherfuckin' policeman." verbatim. You probably said a police man, or a pilot, of a fireman or something to that effect, because it those days you could have conquered the world and pwned Skeletor in the same day if you wanted.

Man, when you're young, you genuinely think you can accomplish whatever you want, be exactly who you want to be. Somewhere along the way life gets to you and you begin to think otherwise. When you're a child you are full of emotion and being brought up into a man you learn to hide them. I think a consequence of this action is the relationship between our emotions and aspirations. The feeling you'd get while being a bad ass ninja fuckin up crackheads with ninja stars. Being Rambo with nothing more than you're dads handkerchief and an imitation Nerf gun that shot ping pong balls cuz that shit was expensive.

The point is, I think a lot of success comes about by staying true to yourself and being aware of your strengths and weaknesses. Analyze what you are doing and study what gives you the best results. Like anything in life worth doing, you have to push yourself until you see a satisfactory result. The transition between child and adult is filled with a surplus of corporate hegemony and media saturation, trials and tribulations, naysayers that bring you down and many other problems that I and no one else could know better than you.

Because so much has changed in yourself between now and then, because the part of you that is still Alpha is directly proportional to what's left of Michael Jackson's nose - I have taken it upon myself to remind you as Blake in Glengarry Glen Ross would:

You have a big set of balls between your legs. Walk down the street with an air of confidence like you just arrived in the Ferrari, fucked Adriana Lima and won the Pulitzer Prize. Do what you have to do to give you that smile of assertion, that sanguine of seduction. Smile while talking to a girl knowing that in the end it really doesn't matter.

If a a potential love interest doesn't reciprocate, don't hold contempt for another....just look at it as a game that you'll soon play again. I've been playing poker long enough to know that it's never the same every time around. There will be times when you're the high stack and others when you're the low. The difference is your head when it comes to the next hand, next table and an entirely new game. When you're on a winning streak, sit back and enjoy the moment, because you don't know when next you'll be hitting the jackpot. In the mean time keep your head up, and go get'em

Catch and Release

2008-07-28T00:02:00.019-04:00

The game of dating is a universal conundrum. How do you choose to acquire your catch. Should the would be fisherman guide his passion via the experience and patience of the ol' rod and lure or enjoy his hobby redneck rambo style with a stick of dynamite to put the odds in his favor?

Dating a girl usually means you end up in one of two scenarios: trapped in the friend zone or hierarchized as something worth more among the plethora of other men she hangs about. The former means you start dating a girl and end up bating yourself as you become enrolled by infatuation and 'onenitis'. You compound your thought process debating whether to push further or step back. The divider between these two states is measured by your ability to walk the fine line of ambitious flirtation (good game) without looking needy in the process.

They say women are ones who become 'clingy'...emotionally attached. Some argue this from a genetic and evolutionary perspective. A woman may reproduce once every nine months while a man may spread his seed like a wildfire if he so chooses. Science has changed the name of the game and women of our generation can have sex as often as they like. Women are no longer clingy.

Women of this generation are quickly learning that they can control who and how many men they see and when the coital gates of heaven will be opened to the said wooer. Where as a woman 200 years ago would attach to man for physical, emotional, financial, and environmental security, the modern day woman trumps your he-man testosterone levels with the notion of independence.

This has trickled down as part of a larger issues dubbed "4th wave feminism". Though I would divulge into the idiosyncrasies that make up this sect, let's just say these are the type of girls that always let your calls go to voicemail and text message like the receptionist of yesteryear. They often must encompass these skills because they are dating several men at the same time. From the time things escalate they try calling the shots with the infamous "I don't know what I want right now." Every time I hear this line my bullshit alarm starts goes off. Every woman knows she wants to fall in love, it's their greatest aspiration and desire. I look at is as an excuse to have guys tag along on a ride called embellish me.

Men on the other hand fall in love several times every day; it happens on the subway as a beautiful woman boards your cart. Later again in the grocery aisle; while walking down the street; and later that night at a bar. Like an orchid they are captivating in a very unique way. Tomorrow will be the same as today, we cannot help but be memorized by such creations. Sculptures of flesh parading everywhere....it's a beautiful sight that you get so easily lost in. Such a feeling can only be attributed to love. Ah yes...we men are visual creatures caught in a genetic trap of optic stimulation that compounds the senses in a most awe-inspiring way. But...

Every once in a while a girl comes along who has the potential to be something more. Her words are full of small wisdom; her sentences idioms; and her silence a chance to catch your breath. You're not one to wear your heart on your sleeve but find it slipping away like a dog trying to catch it's own tail.

This viscous cycle has become a part of everyday life. Should one hunt for the kill or simply for the thrill of the hunt, i.e. 'greater' satisfaction. Ones hunger, in every sense of the word, will inevitably arise again, therefore it is paramount to know which form of pleasure brings you the greatest satisfaction.

To answer this you must determine your taste. You must be true to what gives you the most pleasure and in so doing brings about a sense of equilibrium, content, a feeling that lulls over you in a most unassuming manner. Do you seek sexual gratification or forgo such pleasure for emotional homeostasis? Finding the latter will often mean a Congo case of blue balls so prep your pr0n folder for the long haul.

The problem as a man is though instant gratification comes in both the physical and emotional forms we have been brought up to conceal such vulnerabilities. Instead we pursue the former as a more temporal means of appeasement, knowing that such pacification will allow us the strength and fight for it another day. Think of this recourse as being the road more taken; the route to temporal bliss so as to avoid the complication of cognitive solitude. Everyone needs love, but it's better to get your 'fix' in the moment then to sit idly wondering where to find the cure (aka tabanka)

Finding sex is easier...there will always be someone there. Finding love is always, in the very context of the feeling, putting yourself on a limb, at risk, open for exaltation. In a world of 6.6 billion people, it's a lonely feeling if you can't find another person to love you. No one wants to feel like a loser, so people close off to the expectation of finding it. You definitely don't want to find yourself becoming 'emo' in pursuit of an emotional connection you may never find. That said...I think that's why people play games. They're caught in this struggle between putting themselves out there (being vulnerable) or closing off (wearing a mask, distracting yourself with work, projects, drug/alcohol abuse) or hiding yourself (tons of makeup, fashion accessories, texting while walking down the street with big designer sunglesses) from the world.

Therefore, let us ask - should you let it go? Should you let your heart lead you astray with a woman? No, lessons of the past have taught you not to let go so easily. Everything about being a man is encapsulated by ones ability to control his feelings. A raging tornado of altruism and indifference constantly logisticizing what to show the world.

I say wear your heart in you chest, and pound it like an 800lbs gorilla screaming from the top of a building. If she's a true woman, she'll see somewhere behind the jungle of your mane, that buried deep below the hairy chest lies a heart in some shape or form (give her HD trailer like glimpses now and again to keep the tension and excitement.)

It's time for natural selection, all girls that don't fit the bill can hit 30, cut their hair and turn into cat lovers. It's time for men to awaken from their long slumber...I will speak more of this in my next installment. Until then go brush up your poker game.

Gentialiaaaa!

2008-06-09T15:55:00.002-04:00

Knock, knock..whose there? It's me wondering why you're not naked

Something New

2008-05-13T23:16:00.003-04:00

It's always refreshing to find something new. The human spirit is an amazing thing but easily diminished when burdened with everyday menial life. That said it's always nice to find new things to keep you going; keep you inspired.

I'm graduating from college and moving on with my life. I'm taking a road trip on some of the best road through Europe. Moreover, I'm doing it in an evo VIII. It will no doubt be unreal, I'll try my best not to try any Crack Makinen tactic and bring both the car and myself in one piece.

With 2000 miles to cover I'm going to need lots of music to keep me going. I was watching this Top Gear Epsiode for inspiration. As usual, the soundtrack is an eclectic mix that inspires the soul. It's the kind of music that gives you goosebumps and makes you think about some fantasy you've been planning your whole life.

First off we have Ludovico Einaudi, an Italian composer with some amazing minimalist classical music. His 2007 album Divenire is worth checking out; it's the best classic I've heard since Michael Nyman's work on the Gattaca OST. The song "Ritornare" is particularly beautiful yet encompassing an almost melancholy serene:

Next, I accidentally found this guy called "Apparat." while looking at Remix of the same Top Gear video. His music is the most original thing I've heard in a long time. Imagine a half cup of Craig Armstrong, two tea spoons of Radiohead, and a dash of minimalist trance. It would definitely constitute as "high man" music, but I seem to be the odd ball that enjoys it sober.

Definition of a Toti Tickler

2008-05-01T15:53:00.006-04:00

I can understand someone wearing a courier bag aka "man purse"....on campus you see that shit all the time - but this...this is straight up homo. Only in New York [edit--> and San Francisco] would you see such a thing.

Trinis...Imagine a chiney man walking up Charlotte street, flexing d latest Louis Vuitton-bag swaying in all it's glory while smoking a cigarette with the pinky extended like Du Maurier is about to go out of style.

NEVER!

Now before you go all Richard Simmons on my ass, anyone who grew up in Trinidad will understand the distinction in culture - homosexuality is not tolerated in the West Indies. I have no malice, disdain or hatred for homosexuals. You have to understand that, as a Trinidadian, this is a cultural twilight zone; it's beyond the categorization of taboo.

Moreover, the grand gestures and overly efeminite catch phrases such as:

SUPERRRRRRR!!!

and

FAAAANTAAASTIC!

don't help any. They manage to take the label of "attention whore" to an entirely new level. Caught in a culture that promotes promotes sexual freedom and promiscuity, it's like they feel this need to let everyone know how proud and HAPPY they are to be gay.

I'm sure it must be exiting to be sexually awakened, to accept the circumstance they had no choice over (apparently). But do you really have to parade the news like a tabloid, do you really have to speak so loud that everyone must endure the callousness of your frilly epicene voice. Heterosexual couples annoy me when flaunting their affection in public...like they are some celebrity couple starving for pavaratzi; you think I prefer to see two men going at it.

If you're gay, then you're gay....you do you. Be proud if you want, I don't give a rats ass. But there's a class that comes with humility, anonymity, and modesty. To thine own self be true motherfucker! Know what you are and not what you want to appear to be. If I had to guess, I'd say the loudest, most flamboyant butt muncher is the weakest; the most insecure. He's akin to the modern day metrosexual Guido:

or the porcelin doll:

encompassing a plethora of materialistic and personable accessories to compensate for their trite insecurities. That said...a man carrying a purse is UNACCEPTABLE.

But Hot Lesbian Sex is perfectly fine.

The Fail Is Really Strong In This One.....

2008-04-19T23:29:00.002-04:00

The Key to Happiness

2008-04-15T23:54:00.003-04:00

The Revolution Will Not Be Online

2008-04-08T05:52:00.009-04:00

I found myself watching this informative though somewhat deceptive documentary. When looking at a film, the first thing I ask myself is: "What's this persons objective? They are trying to convince me that [insert conspiracy theory here]"

I for one have been hindering a growing attachment for conspiracy documentaries, but I deny myself the delicious indulgence of regurgitating something I saw on Google video to those not in the know. I watch these videos and want to think I'm above all this shady behavior, that-unlike the neo-liberal, cubicle dwelling, mouseketeers watching YouTube and checking Facebook-I'm somehow above that. But am I?

It's unfair to just think we are all so obtuse and blind, unaware of what's happening around us. Of course we know that government, corporations, media and banks control our lives. But I cannot embellish such theories unless you propose a motherfucking solution. Oh, no solution? Then move along donkey dick.

They make it sound like we are going to drop everything and start the anarchist V for Vendetta style movement. WTF? I'm young and informed...I, a victim of neo-liberalism, know more than your better judgment presumes I do.

I know that pharmaceutical companies patent genes while mothers die of breast cancer since it's too expensive to buy the rights necessary to study the protein. I know the soy in that soy in your late comes from beans which were genetically modified. I know the companies that own these patents must capitalize on their discovery in order to compensate for expenses surmounted during R&D. I know that this is the first sign of a failed system.

I know that our economy (subsystem) is geared for growth where as the biosphere (the parent system) remains the same size; we are quickly displacing the biosphere because our economy is geared toward the endless pursuit of growth. That human beings are selfish and will only think as far as themselves, their progeny, their profits and their 401K. That guy who hit 40 yesterday and bought a corvette doesn't give a rats ass about melting glaciers...he's thinking about:

1. Enjoying the money he's managed to save after being ass raped by the IRS and having worked for his entire life since the age of three.
2. Picking up a hot blonde so he can get his dick wet.
3. Enjoying the adrenaline rush of a 7 Liter V8 and hitting 200 mph.

I know that we'll never attempt sustainable design until we rethink corporate economic globalization. That until people change their mental attachment to materialistic possessions habits wont change. That until the government, investment bankers, lobbyists and politicians find something that makes just as money as fossil fuels they won't provide incentives or procure change....no, to them change is bad.

I know that industrialization has caused this. That advances in technology and medicine mean that more people live, reproduce and consume the products which corporations manufacture by pillaging the earth; it's trees, animals, soil, seas, wetlands and air. I know that future generations might will either not survive or survive to see a hot baron rock.

I know while the media portrays Hugo Chavez as a fascist, totalitarian monster, his ascendancy into power was one of the most democratic examples that the united states could learn from. Moreover, his actions since being voted into power exemplify his use of monetary sources for the betterment of the impoverished, ie the majority of the people in his country...not the minority making all the money off the oil who used the media as a tool to maintain power and propagate the conception of him as Castro's partner in crime.

I know the reason Washington dislikes Chavez is, not only because he controls the worlds 3rd largest source for oil, but because he represents such radical socio-economic change in which the government is controlled by the people and not the panoptic, Orwellian way around.

I know that women are no longer the way they used to be. That finding one that can hold a conversation and not your credit car is a journey within itself. That they are insecure and confused, unlike the last generation of strong, confident, loving women: women who bent over for men (no pun intended). Women who sacrificed for their spouse and family...often too much but nevertheless out of love. Now woman are the opposite...they seek complete self interest, ignoring anyone else's needs until theirs are fulfilled.

Let's face the reality I'm a sheep, you're a sheep...we're all slaves to something. Even if you're a god damn hobbit that lives in the woods, a tall, pipe smoking wizard will find you and some weakness to exploit...he'll find your precioussss.

There are too many distractions if you look around. And while drugs and alcohol might do it for most, money is the true red meat which distracts the watchdog of the mind. EVERYONE can find some route to happiness with money....right?

As much as I want to believe there are greedy men of almost insurmountable wealth who play the world like a craps game, it's easier for me to believe we're all sheep to some opiate that has managed to displace "true" happiness (aka love). I'm sure the greedy NWO bankers are brewing a diabolical scheme, the effects of which trickle down to materialistic slavery. However, in the greater scheme of things, the problem is more of an individual one- self imposed slavery that I fear we are far from abandoning much less ostracizing when the power of Prada compels you.

I'm quite demanding of myself when it comes to adopting a revised position on some controversial subject. Immediately adopting a new stance on something which is larger and more complex than a video found on google is akin to walking on thin ice. It's dangerous and lazy to believe you understand the world and it's idiosyncrasies via a neat little compressed package.

It's a lot harder to go and read up those sources and see if they're full of shit or the person did their homework. Unlike most, I actually like to know what the fuck I'm talking about. So when faced with a hot headed techie ready to shit his pants with anticipation on debating the N95 vs. iPhone I can easly pwn his ass. Game, set, match moi.

Within every joke, story, or statement there an epithet of ones disposition, an unspoken allegiance to some culture or dogma. People want to convince you of their views, so as to reaffirm their belief system, gratify their intelligence, and thus appease their ego.

This is not true of everyone, but just something you have to be mindful of when communication becomes unidirectional. That is to say: watching TV, a movie, reading a book, even conversing with a person who's voice accounts for 95% of the time during your verbal exchange. When communication is interactive or multi directional, you are not a passive observer anymore. You now play a role in deciding the content. This is why mobile video has been so successful...you're not limited by the remote anymore, you ARE the network, broadcaster and signal.

With documentaries like Sicko, Fahrenheit 911, Roger and I, Bowling for Columbine and the video I just watched-you are a passive observer for over two hours. By the time you walk out the cinema you are all motivated and political for no more than 5 minutes before you forget and go back to your rudimentary lethargic life...baaa

URL of the Week: PostSecret

2008-04-07T04:55:00.002-04:00

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail
in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard.

It's funny as hell...enjoy.

Gotta

2008-04-06T05:36:00.007-04:00

Gotta get mine.

Gotta get up, gotta brush my teeth, gotta drink some coffee, gotta go to work -I gotta bring the home that bread. Gotta be on time, gotta pay for gas, gotta catch that train, gotta sit through traffic, gotta listen to music. Gotta pay that mortgage, gotta finance the kids college, , gotta finance that car, gotta pay those bills, gotta get out of debt, gotta get that promotion, gotta get that 401K. Gotta please the boss, gotta close that account, Gotta expand this company, gotta monetize, digitize, capitalize, stigmatize, and homogenize, gotta move up the ladder, gotta please, gotta suck up. Gotta gotta sell my soul. Gotta pass that bill, gotta finance that campaign, gotta patent that gene, gotta capitalize on opportunity, gotta get those voters on my side. Gotta have that drink, gotta have that smoke, gotta figure out how much longer I can do this.

Gotta get mine.

Gotta buy that dress, gotta hit the club, gotta do my nails, gotta do my hair, gotta lose some weight, gotta get my degree, gotta tease him, gotta please him, gotta ask my friends, gotta use the bathroom, gotta dodge that bill, gotta work those hips, gotta work that hair, gotta avoid eye contact. Gotta hear that song, gotta see that movie, gotta eat that food, gotta look good, gotta be quiet, gotta speak up, gotta read, gotta move up, gotta fall in love, gotta have kids, gotta get married, gotta get that rock, gotta be successful, gotta live in mans world.

Gotta get mine.

Gotta get laid, gotta look good, gotta go out, gotta travel, gotta pay for that cab, gotta pay that cover, gotta buy those drinks, gotta talk to that girl, gotta keep my head up, gotta be confident, gotta be pleasant, gotta keep the conversation flowing, gotta dodge that cockblock, gotta keep her attention, gotta make eye contact, gotta speak above the music, gotta make her laugh, gotta make her smile,gotta get that number, gotta brush it off and try again.

Gotta get mine.

Re: "Don't Stick!" - Pounding out Some Hood Rats

2008-04-05T17:13:00.007-04:00

My friend "J" has decided to be more proactive about his personal life. This was not only surprising, but makes me proud knowing that the blog has accomplished some good. What's usually nothing more than just a bunch of aimless meandering has actually served a small function for one reader. Initially I was apprehensive passing "J" the URL to "Don't Stick", second guessing myself about what his reaction might be. Looking back, I'm glad I did, while no one enjoys criticism "J" was objective enough to take something positive from it. Anyway, "J" sent me the following message a short while ago:

So I've been thinking about stuff and i think need to be out there just racking up notches (as the DCB would say) for a bit. These 2 more years in grad school might actually be good for me. Its gonna be hard, or different at least and I'm kinda sorry that this experience happened so late...kinda wished i woke up 5 years ago...but im still young. The past five years haven't been a total waste though as i think i developed socially alot. Also, certain things are happening which i never though would have happened before. i am able to hold the attention of an entire room or crowd of people and lead in certain activities. Maybe this is because i am on average 2 years older than the college crowd but say what... its getting me attention from girls. I think this is one of the things that attracted her to me. Also, there was a turn around date were we kinda just limed as equals, though i took the lead when decisions were being made. After that she was txting me to hang out and it was obvious her interest was peaked. It was only when the time came for things to get physical that i screwed up. And I'm glad i did. There is a saying in capoeira that you learn 10x as much falling down as you do taking someone down.

Anyway, you were right in your blog that i cant just wait for things to happen. Also, i think I'm investing too much i just trying to date one girl i really like rather than a few that are so-so. This girl is still playing games but its ok. Im over it and moving on.

Get Em!

Craigslist

2008-04-02T13:10:00.028-04:00

Every once in a while I search craigslist for shits'n'giggles. If you've never passed through the W4M section, try it some time, you'll be amazed at some of the posts.

It's no surprise most of the girls are wharf rats. Where as a good looking woman gets attention from men every day (be it looks, free drinks etc) an unattractive woman gets squat and must therefore seek alternative means to be reminded of her value. By making a single post, her inbox is flodded and she can sift through hundreds of emails with offers of penis.

Despite the plethora of undesirables, every once in a while you find what looks like a diamond in the rough; a seed of hope in a pile of Congo shit.

Now while this chick isn't anything amazing (I'd give her a 7 at most), she's a super model compared to what you normally see. I refer to exhibit WTF:

Imagine waking up next to that Where's batman when you need him?

What was going through her head when she decided to post this pic? Once my shallow tendencies subsided, a wave of melancholy fell over me as I contemplated how difficult life must be when you're cursed with the mutated genes of a penguin and heroine addict. On a more serious note, it must suck donkey balls for girls who aren't considered objectively good looking by society. Moreso when you're just plain fugly.

I'm especially picky when it comes to emailing a craigslist chick. Like a myspace/facebook profile they'll often take the best of 100 photos making sure it's from the shoulders up. Last thing you want to do is go on a blind date with a girl who looked like an 8 and turns out to be a 5 or 6.

A persons vocabulary and writing style can say a lot about their character. Let's analyze some of todays posts:

Need Someone Extremely Wealthy for Help - 19

Translation --> I'm going to ass rape your credit card

cute chubby and frustrated - 24

Transaltion --> I'm overweight and ignorant

Can you impress me? - 24

Translation --> Can you stroke my ego? I seek validation.

Can I please have your attention? - 23

Transaltion --> I'm a control freak

Princess looking for her Prince no frogs - 24

Transaltion --> I live in a fantasy world of unrealistic expectations

I may be strange, even weird, but there is never a dull moment! - 22

Transaltion -->

This girl looked like the catch of the day. Here she is again. Her post read:

Really I have no idea why Im using this route to date.

95% of the girls that post on CL begin with, "I don't know why I'm here." ...some kind of cushion for the bruised ego. She continues saying:

Im actually at a loss for words here and thats never usually the case. Its hard to word it correctly to reel you in so I figure Ill just ramble and tell you who I am and what I want. I think if you really like somebody and trust them, they should be trusted to make the right decision when it comes to females as friends and going out with the boys. I would like to get to know someone before I jump into any kind of relationship. I mean the worst that can happen is that I make a new awesome friend, RIGHT?

blah blah blah...

I was a gymnast and can still do the splits--so I am very flexible. If your interested send me a message and i will go into further detail.

JACKPOT

sidenote: on second thought, this girl sounds too good to be true. I'd faster expect it to be an April Fool's prank.

A Tuned Car Named Desire

2008-04-01T04:01:00.018-04:00

One thing required to succeed in life is desire. Now some might say Duh, but when I say desire I mean true passion. I mean the kind of burning aspiration that you cannot get rid of year after year. Sure your priorities will change over time, and you will have temporal goals that supersede your desires but nevertheless they remain omnipresent. That is true desire...it never fades.

One of the things which has remained constant is my passion for cars. Since the age of 14 I've devoted an almost obsessive passion for performance cars. If I saw one I'd lustfully stick around to take in it's sculped form, obsessing over it like a pedophile outside kindergarten. So much so I'd even harass the owners in a feeble attempt to cop a ride. Kind of sad now looking back, but you do stupid things when you're in love.

When you can't have something you desire you will find some means to fill that void. One such way is to displace it with some vicarious means through which you can pretend you're living the dream. People do this all the time. When a girl wishes she were popular and considered hot, she starts following celebrity gossip and idolizing vacuous idiots like Paris Hilton. When a guy can't get laid and watches porn he's doing nothing more than displacing himself with the guy giving the stick; and since your girlfriend doesn't look like this:

you close your eyes and pretend she does while having sex.

With the exception of masturbation (strengthens the forearms ), these are idle ways to keep your brain entertained as you sulk about the life you wish you had . If you want something bad enough, if you have a burning desire, you will not let anyone or anything stop you from obtaining it. Can't get girls then either go to the gym or work on your game (or both).

Now although I play devils advocate I am, or rather, was guilty of this. I used to envy my friends whose parents bought them a nice car, and sulk because my parents, who could well afford it, didn't do the same. Although I still don't have my dream car, I'm thankful they didn't spoil me with another materialistic possession. Although I would have held it in higher regard than any other, it would have procured a lazy mentality whereby I would expect affluent things through good grades; nothing more, nothing less.

Since I couldn't have the car, I started to kill time by drawing it and reading articles. While I lived vicariously through the writer and his experience of driving the car, it helped me to learn more about it. My passion grew so deep, I began subconsciously retaining anything I read. I surrounded myself with people who had similar passions and my thirst for knowledge continued to grow. I picked up 3D and used it as a means to procure the imagery stuck in my head. Had I not been passionate about cars, I don't think my 3D skills would be at the level they are today:

One day a friend showed me how ECU tuning could control the car's computer. The changes made to the computer unit would effectively harmonize the sum of the parts. It's kind of like cooking: you can have all the ingredients but if you don't follow the recipe you'll end up with cow shit instead of creme brule. I immediately found this interesting for it would allow my knowledge to be put to good use. Moreover I realized that few people were taking advantage of such technology.

What started as a means to fill the void has turned into a small business I run in my spare time. I provide a tuning package and service for people fortunate enough to own my dream car. Although small in terms of profit, the lesson to be learned is in the principal: I used my desire to bring myself fortune. Instead of bitching about when I'd be fortunate enough to gain my want, I used the energy constructively into something that brings me just a little closer to that reality. There's nothing quite so empowering as taking an educated risk and finding success through hard work.

I took the initiative to instead ask: how can I get my dream car? What am I doing that I love that can get me 1 step closer to making my dream a realityRobert Kiyosaki talks about this in his book "Rich Kid, Smart Kid", whereby simply changing your cognitive disposition opens your mind to creative thinking you would have otherwise never entertained.

Open your mind and start channeling your desire into something positive. Thinking you'll never afford X, Y and Z will keep you stagnant and close your mind off from exploring creative ways and opportunities to accomplish your goals and desires. Keep an open mind and your aspirations close at hand...love them long enough and you'll find a way to start monetizing them.

Stop and KNOW that YOU control your life; not the bank; not the corporations; not even the money. YOU forge your own destiny in your willingness to rise above things that inhibit that which brings you happiness.

Sometimes a 1 step back = 2 steps forward. I have learnt this the hard way. life has a funny way of teaching you things. I've come to learn that my best only comes out during the worst times. I used to be one to give up easily...from the time something goes wrong I want to say fuck it. I would question God and ask why the hell things turned out like this. But my mother has taught me that you MUST take on the trials that life throws at you. This is something easier said than done, that's why you must first be completely confident of your desire...that's why it must be an ever burning flame in you. So that whe time are tought, and the flame subsides you remind yourself that the juice is worth the motherfucking squeeze.

Don't be distracted. Today, technology and multimedia bombard every crevice of our lives. Use them as a tools, not as a nullifying means to procraste. Your destiny that is impacted by every single decision you make.

Attack your fears head on. Nothing will build confidence faster than shedding your inhibitions.

Define your principals and maneuver through life with them in mind. Let your conscious guide you and not some fastidious opiate that regurgitates paradoxical hegemony to the masses.

Equilibrium is directly proportional to your mental and physical health. IE too much of anything is not good. Instead of living and thinking black and white, try to live in the gray.

Every mistake is a lesson learned. Even if you don't come out clean on the other side, you'd have learned something from the experience. The journey, not as much the result, will be the part you remember most, the part you tell your grand kids about.

Your life is worth nothing more than the some of it's parts. Make sure that when you leave this planet, this body, that you do so knowing the fragments you've accumulated create a mosaic unlike any other.

So get your ass up and go do something with your life, for time lost is time never to be found again

Don't Stick!

2008-04-01T03:00:00.014-04:00

So one of my boys (I'll call him J) called me tonight about a girl problem. He's somewhat religious and quite passive when it comes to gaming women. I'm a bit worried about his future because he needs to wake up and start approaching women he likes instead of waiting for them to come to him.

He's been seeing this chick who's blatantly told him she's looking for no strings attached sex. Now while this may be a no brainer for most, he actually likes the girl. He hasn't told her this (thank God) and is caught between starting things on a sexual basis or waiting it out to see if the long term relationship is feasible. Now while he would prefer a relationship out of it, he has absolutely no issues with simply getting laid. Saint or not, he's a man with needs. (thank God x 2)

Over the weekend he got pretty far with this chick who unsurprisingly initiated all the physicality:

She wanted to go back to his place to watch a movie (+10)
She got "cold" and wanted to share a blanket (+5)
They started kissing (+10)
She mounted him. (+100)
She grabbed his hands and placed them on her babylons. (+1000)

At this point there's no doubt...she wants the ultra piggalicks combo ...nothing can go wrong...my boy is going to tap that ass left, right, and center. All he need do is start taking off her clothes and exploring her body IE start taking charge. Well, somehow she managed to fall off of him, don't ask me how.

As one would expect, everything went downhill from that point on. He tried to rekindle the heat of the moment but it was too little too late, the mood was lost; she said it was getting late and left.

Since then she's been hitting him one liners and is "unusually" busy. While he's replaying the scene wondering where it all went wrong she strokes her ego letting his calls go to voice mail. What happened? He hesitated...he hesitated because he thought sex might void any opportunity for a relationship with this girl.

As hard as it is to say this, my friend is exhibiting the traits and sensibilities of a beta. Whereas an Alpha would have capitalized on the opportunity presented to him concerning himself with long term propositions only AFTER satisfying his desires, a beta attempts to rationalize the situation. He does not understand the chaos and confusion that is the female mind! If a girl isn't looking for a relationship nothing you say is going to convince her otherwise. Now instead of penetrating wet vagina he's back to beating his dick silly.

Women are complicated creatures that over-think, over-analyze and confuffle themselves. They are good at things like multitasking for the very same reason they are crazy...the can entertain 10-12 thoughts at any one time. It's impossible to correlate why a women did or didn't want to have sex. As such, there's no sense in looking back wondering why...you just need to strike while the iron is hot. Concern yourself with emotional matters afterward...the fact that you managed to get her to initiate sex means that you're long past earning her trust, and have managed to build sexual tension.

After analyzing his situation I began to ponder why she was so forceful and urgent in trying to seduce him in the first place. It's possible she could have just been a slut. Now, although this could be true, being the timid saint he is, J's not the kind of guy to knowingly go after the village bicycle.

More realistically she could have been a horny girl that fell for his lack of game. Lack of game you say? Well think about it: while she was putting out all the signs for him chase her, the poor guy never picked up on them. His lack of interest must have drove her nuts. Instead of J putting in the effort that she expected and is used to, he accidentally flipped the script..forcing her to commit to him if she indeed wanted the gratification of knowing that she's an object of desire. Besides jealousy, attention starvation is one the prime things that will drive a girl nuts.

Poor guy....he should have escalated things while the her panties were wet. Being the passive and inexperienced guy that he is, J made the mistake of relinquishing control when he should have taken charge. Every woman wants to be seduced, not be the seducer...at least not all the way in. He should cut his loses and move on.

His only alternative is playing the jealousy card to elevate his social status. Jealousy is a very powerful emotion. Nothing makes a girl go ape shit faster than seeing a guy she likes out with a girl just as attractive if not more than herself. The intent here is to show that you're fun and desired, making her feel like she gave up a good catch. Girls pull this shit on guys all the time, so it's fun to beat them at their own game. You always want what you can't have or think you can't have.

What happens now? It's doubtful he'll be able to grab her back...I think he's already in the friend zone. She's already obtained the emotional validation she's been seeking. Moreover, the tables have turned; evident in the fact that he's been trying to contact her more than he usually would. He shouldn't stroke her ego by calling her. Let it go and and next time don't stick, learn from this experience and move on-always more fish in the sea.

Spring Cleaning

2008-03-19T17:35:00.004-04:00

I decided to clean the entire apartment today by the following (in order of importance):

I am a neat person and the place was getting out of hand
My parents are due to arrive in NY tonight
I was in a good mood and had the time

After completion I proceeded to write my room mates a 3 page letter. It contained the following:

Hey Guys,
While you were gone I had some spare time and noticed the place was in a mess so I decided to Spring Clean as they would say:
Washed all Dishes
Cleaned Stove
Reorganized and Cleaned Fridge
Bathroom, Toilet, Shower, Mirrors
Cleaned all Windows
Swept all rooms
Mopped all rooms + bathroom with bleach
Made up beds
Reorganized Living Room
Cleaned/Organized Desks
Reorganized all cupboards

The reason I did all this is because I want to show you guys that I’m concerned about the space we live in, not just my section but the entire space since it affects all of us. I look at you guys like younger brothers; as such I wanted to teach you responsibility and cleanliness through positive reinforcement.

I noticed a few days before you all left that the sink was full of dishes so I made the effort to wash them all. I know it’s hard to wash a plate or glass when the sink is so full because the fossit can’t reach et al. Washing them didn’t bother me, it’s somewhat therapeutic in fact to take time and clean something…gives you a sense of fulfillment that you’ve done some good…not only for yourself but others as well.

What did bother me however was no more than a couple days later the sink was full of dishes once again. I thought to myself, “If everyone would just wash their dishes we wouldn’t have to deal with this mess so often.” I mentally refused to wash the dishes as I hadn’t made the mess. I thought to myself I will faster put the dishes in the tub or in everyone’s room before I wash them so people start being proactive about cleanliness around here. In this way EVERYONE would be affected and would start pulling their weight.

As the days went by with everyone gone for Spring Break I was alone in 1706. I started cleaning my room because my parents would be coming in a few days. A few days had passed and the dishes began to smell really bad so I was forced to wash them once again. It just wouldn’t be acceptable to have my parents or a friend here with the kitchen and living room in such a smelly mess. One thing led to another and I found myself reorganizing the cupboards, sweeping the living room, the bedroom and so forth until I decided that I was going to spring clean the entire apartment.

I believe that anything worth doing is worth doing well. I believe in taking pride in anything I do and leading by example. With that said I expect you to maintain the clean environment which I have procured for us today. Let me repeat: irrespective of tennis, the gym, class, studies, going out, eating, drinking, shitting, and sleeping I expect you to maintain the clean environment which I have so thoughtfully provided for all of us.

I didn’t have to do any of this, but did because I wanted to set an example. I wanted to show you guys that if you put in an effort, people will take notice. I know you guys have it in you to be better and I want to bring it out instead of brining you down. So I altruistically attempted to show you that I care by cleaning up your mess as well.

It took me an entire day to do this. Times along the way I wanted to stop and leave a note saying that since I did 75% you guys need to clean the bathroom or this. But I figured I 1 man did what is really the responsibility of 4 then it would wake you guys up. I am holding you guys in high regard, because I’m usually not so patient and giving.

With that said I’ll digress into cunt mode. Here’s not what I ask but demand of you. AT THE LEAST clean shit that you use. Respect is earned, not given. I have shown you guys love and respect today. They say no good deed goes unpunished and well…I’m tired of being everyone’s bitch and maid.

After reading this don’t come to me and say that you don’t make this mess, or don’t do that. I don’t give a flying fuck who did it, nor am I concerned about figuring it out. This is not a Hardy Boys book, I don’t have time to figure out who the fuck made what mess. YOU KNOW WHAT MESS YOU’RE MAKING…STOP FUCKING DOING IT.

Since I don’t know who makes what mess, Peter will pay for Paul and Paul will pay for ALL. I know I don’t drink coffee, I know I wash my wares, I know I always fill the water bottle after using it, I know I always throw things IN the garbage (not AROUND or AT for those of us unfamiliar with prepositions). I know I turn off my PS2 and wrap the controllers after using it. I know that without rules and order in life chaos reigns.

If this place gets EVER gets untidy again I will fuck up your shit up. I suspect who’s been making what mess and haven’t been calling anyone out on it to save you the embarrassment. From here on out be warned:

If I see a pile of dishes in the sink that I know I didn’t create I will throw them like Frisbees into your room, more specifically in your bed hopefully while you’re sleeping. I swear on my grandfather’s grave I am not joking with youà piss all over the toilet and I will piss in your bed, I will throw your rotten food in with your clean clothes. I will do all of this with a big smile and absolute confidence. I’m not going to be a cunt about a few dishes in the sink or some stuff in the fridge, but when I see someone’s shit in the fridge for weeks getting rotten or a huge pile of dishes In the sink then I will be a cunt.

Make a sincere effort or else I will fuck your shit up…there are no if, ands or buts about this. I do not want to see this happened again. This is your first and ONLY warning you will ever get. You don’t need to come and tell me thank you. Tell me thank you by showing me you care; through actions, not words. If push comes to shove and we end up in a dirty place again don’t come crying when I fuck your shit up. Act like a man and I’ll treat you like one, act like an inconsiderate child and I’ll have to teach you a lesson.

With Love,

Patrick

Looking back I wish I had taken pictures of the "before" so you could really appreciate how much work I did. Oh well...there's won't be a next time. Here are a few more shots of my awesome work:

For Those Who Bitch About Life Being Hard

2008-03-13T05:34:00.001-04:00

Study if you lived in the jungle and had to survive.

Elevator Life

2008-03-09T04:37:00.010-04:00

Yes, elevator life; we all know it:

That feeling of discomfort obtained while standing next to a stranger in a confined space.
The primary notion that one is required to ask rhetorical question such as "What's up?" or "How ya going?" if you even vaguely know the person.
The way you can tell that person is in a good mood if they ask "What floor?"
The secondary notion that you never, ever, under any circumstances make eye contact.
The fact that you both stare at the flashing LEDs so as to avoid eye contact.
The insecure idiot who presses his floor button multiple times like it's going to turbocharge the elevator and hit warp speed.
The smelly fart you let out while alone, only for the elevator to stop on a new floor.
The fact that every living soul must reach for their dead signal cell phone as if God is about to call.
The pimple face lovers that are making out, almost as if to rub in your face like they're hot shit.
The retarded conversations people either begin or continue once aboard. No one cares about your score in Guitar Hero you dildo --> take a hint and STFU!
And the worst of the worst: the fat, lazy alien cocksucker who takes the elevator to the 2nd or 3rd floor (always happens when you're running late).

Freedom?

2008-03-04T11:23:00.006-05:00

All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others. It’s hard to imagine something so naive, so overly-simplistic could sum up modern democratic societies justly... But I digress.

Freedom, man's only wish, his greatest desire, yet it is the fundamental weakness which governs the world we live in today, as it has in the past. The fundamental of freedom is freedom of thought, free expression; the ability to forms one's own ideas, concepts and theories on things. It requires effort, willingness and some degree of intelligence or experience in the subject. This holds true ranging from what television channel to watch, to voting in an election, to if to kill or be killed.

A democracy assumes all is equal, and that everyone has that fundamental freedom... but do they really? Or have they given that right up? Groupthink and doublethink plagues modern society as man is lazy. Why make a choice when you can have someone make it for you? Why bother to see the contradictions and inefficiencies of governments and polices when you can sit and do nothing? Why? Because it is easy. Politicians, world leaders, even religious icons all know this, and exploit it well; to stay in power, to maintain control, alas, the opium of the people.

Consider this. Everyday we observe stupid people doing stupid things. Often you find yourself asking why would someone do that? Or, what were they thinking? And often you would try to explain your point to said individuals, or try to understand thier logic behind thier decision. 99% of the time they did not arrive at thier conclusion based in logic, thus you cannot alter their decision based in logic. The solution to this problem still eludes me.

The future of mankind will ultimately be determined by the true battle between good and evil, that is, ignorance vs. wisdom. It is the few and the proud which would have to steer mankind into something resembling a brighter tomorrow and hope for the best. Ignorance is my war, knowledge is my weapon, and wisdom is in self sacrifice.

Vacuous Vacuum

2008-03-03T16:49:00.014-05:00

I really hope the day I have a kid he/she doesn't turn out to be a spoilt brat. The only thing worse than a brat is a retard. I can't help but notice how sad and stupid many of these Americans are. I'm sitting outside of starbucks listening to the most vacuous conversation in history with the primary imbecile looking like Peter Griffen in his early 20s complete with the bird nest beard. Whats especially depressing is how loudly he speaks, making sure to draw lots of attention to himself. NY becomes a lonely place as you lay adrift confined by an air of mediocrity with kids that show little capability of reaching their potential. Its the international students that are saving the educational system in America.

Maybe one day these kids will grow up and look at the bigger picture. I'm sure its been argued that somewhere between bangbus and deuce biggalow we've lost many of our youth to mainstream zombie media. A book is so much harder to obsorb because you need to think. Do it long enough and it provokes thought and possibly even change. but I don't want them to hurt themselves. Wouldn't want them to overburden themselves by picking up a book.

I wish I was intelligent enough to induce some change. Be the spark that lights the fire, the ripple that starts the wave. Maybe I'm just a chameleon, simply wearing a cloak and executing the proverbial dagger for fear of coming to terms with my own intellectual short cumings. Oh yes, intellectual masterbation is as sad as it is temporally fulfilling.

I'd rather be a hammer than a nail

2008-03-03T08:18:00.003-05:00

Everyday, every waking hour, every moment of our meager existence we are trapped. Trapped by the walls that surround us, by the laws of physics that govern us, and ironically, the first question which comes to mind is what I think the least pertinent. why?

Why?... why do good things happen to good people, why do good things happen to bad people. and more importantly, why don't more good things happen to me? Its these questions which often drive man to the brink of insanity, which shows its head in many forms. The most widespread and dangerous form is religion, which offers answers without fact, guidance without knowledge resulting people seeing without looking, blinded by sounds of silence.

Yet through this mess, mankind, like a skipping stone, bounces along, never knowing when we will take the plunge into the unknown abyss. The question is never why. It is when. We were not the first to rule this planet, and we may not be the last. It doesn’t matter why we lived, but that we lived. And this brings me to my point. In this world there are hammers and there are nails. There are those who make the rules, and those who live by them. Those would be remembered, and those who never existed.

It's a harsh reality that many will never accept, but I assure you, you can never truly be happy, unconditionally happy, unless you see the world through the eyes of a child. No country, no religion, no heaven or hell. Choose freedom, the only true kind there is. The open road, the fresh air, the sultry feeling the fills you to a point where you feel like you're floating out of your body. The freedom to not know, to not care and just to be. The freedom to imagine, to imagine peace, love and respect. Open your eyes people. Freedom is not ignorance, ignorance is bliss. Freedom is in knowing who you are and what you are... seek fact not fiction. Be a hammer not a nail.

Leaving Las Vegas

2008-03-03T07:17:00.015-05:00

I told myself for a long time that I should see this movie, but never got around to it. While searching imdb for things I should download, I remembered LLV and I'm glad I didn't forget.

I don't think I can recall having ever watched a movie as paradoxical as this. It's so sad yet I'm fascinated by the idealistic conception of how two people can fall in love in a world of filth and shit. You can genuinely feel the intimate relation these two people had at a time when they hit rock bottom. It was plain to see the Cage's character was worse off that Shue, but God, I couldn't help but find it amazing that she could look past the alcoholism and see something good in him. I don't think women like her exist, and if they do it's only cuz they have hit rock bottom and a drop of love in an ocean of sadness is all they need.

It's ironic that society labels Shue's character (a prostitute) weak, a drain on all things productive and relevant to what is needed in a community. Yet prostitution is the worlds oldest profession, that in itself should tell people that as prideful as the middle class and elitists might be, they still cannot ignore their basic sexual needs. People treat a hooker like shit because they are insecure that they can't manage to get a woman in bed like "normal" people. In order to come to terms with their filth and lust they must seem more like a man by slapping her around or calling her names. It's often quite convenient to cast a label on someone when you are either insecure about yourself of not in a position to make an objective analysis of why it came to this.

The movie was over the top in the sense that you think to yourself that no woman would ever put up with Cage's shit and no man could ever drink that much. Then you begin to appreciate why Shue's character is willing. You put yourself in her shoes for a second and appreciate that she no longer feels like a woman, no longer feels like a human being. People look at her with scorn and contempt. She feels hollow and does what she must to survive. She has managed to obtain a reasonable method of financial security and an apartment to lay her head, yet lacks the emotional security of a man and place to call home. As pathetic and sorrowful as Cage's character is, he fills that void because they share a common thread. It's ironic that these two find love in America's playground of filth and sin. They are casted as the lowest of the low yet most viewers will be able to relate to their basic longing to love and be loved. No one will accept them for who they are much less take time to understand how they got there.

It's beautiful to see them find solace in each other. To watch as Cage makes Shue feel like a person, a woman again. As Shue, accepts Cage for what he is and let's him drown his sorrows of the past in the way he has chosen. It's hurting her to see him throw his life away and the potential life they could have. You can't help but wonder why she doesn't pull the bottle away from him as he slips further and further into a comatose state. Man did he punish his liver. But then, she made that promise right...and the relationship is volatile. I say there's a beauty to this sorrow because even though you know it's going to end badly you can't help but think if these are the circumstances then live for the moment, savor it to the last drop.

You think of Cage in the bank recording a voice note of his dream fantasy with the hot teller. Of alcohol beading down her body as he fucks her. Yes, in every sense of the fantasy it is an alcoholic mans dream, but try to dig deeper. When Shue, unbeknownst to her, does this very thing at the pool side she's simply accepting a man for all his faults and short comings. She hopes that in so doing he will realize that she is accepting him for who he is, and that in itself will help him to wake up and realize that there is still a life waiting for him. This in of itself is very important. It shows the road less taken with relationships. Often when a couple is faced with an issue which involves personal change they will criticize their partner until they break down their self-esteem. Once this has been accomplished they will try to build them back up in the light they wish to see them.

This is the problem with many relationships, and women in particular. The see what they want their man to be, not what he is. Nothing is wrong with this, but they go about provoking change the wrong way. Instead of compromising and evolving change through time, love, and patience they take the easy route of breaking a mans spirit via arguments, cognitive games, sex deprivation and verbal abuse. Shue's character was the opposite, the more Cage faultered, the more she was there for him. Then again...it could be argued that this is an extremist approach...and I think this is the point the director/writer were trying to make.

Unfortunately, Cage can't seem to let go of the life he lost, the wife and child, the job...it's amazingly depressing to see him throw away this second chance at life and in the process see Shue's character disintegrate as well. Again...woulda, coulda shoulda. He keeps calling Sera his Angel throughout the movie because she represents the idealistic conception of what his dream woman is...a woman that doesn't leave him for his fuck-ups but takes the little good in him with all the bad...she's willing to make that sacrifice...which is part of what love is all about. I kept hoping that Cage would wake up and be a man, drop the bottle and pick up the pieces of his life. Maybe get a new job writing in Vegas, which would in turn allow Shue to stop hooking and so forth. The happy go lucky, rainbow care bear ending so to say.

But the movie is brutally honest and thus sincere. After all this is a movie about an alcoholic and a hooker in Vegas...I mean come on. That in itself is interesting, because as much as the director attempts to get your hopes up, it's like, at the end he's saying...keep it real. In real life this shit wouldn't happen and as much as we all want to go to Vegas and be movie stars, poker players, sex gods and millionaires there's really no happy ending...it's simply a means to an end. Instead I think the lesson is everything in moderation....balance....and in so making the sacrifice to limit one self, you will find true happiness.

Cage and Shue are like the many people who get caught in the trap of either living to work or working to live. Life is not black and white. Just because you live life by the standard that society tells you to doesn't mean you can make up for the time lost via a vacation of lust, greed and excess (everything Vegas represents at the end of the day). Working 20 hour days and trying to justify it to yourself through instant gratification will not bring you happiness. On the contrary, living on the edge via alcoholism, prostitution, gambling, drugs and so forth will only lead to depression.

In the end I think this is a movie about relationships. Relationships of how people in society view each other, of how men and women look at each other and the roles we play. In so doing we must face the harsh truth about who we are as men, women, and the community we form as a result of the relationships we build around us.

the best friends are single friends

2008-02-29T22:16:00.003-05:00

an old note..but one of my favs...enjoy ;)

Somewhere along the line, I've actually noticed I have a lot of single friends. Strangely enough, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Ever notice how sometimes u can really get along with some ppl and as soon as they get into a relationship, u hardly see them again? Not single friends.They're not bounded by a mate who wants to spend "quality time" with them conveniently on one of those rare occasions my social gland starts acting up and I'm actually in a liming mood.Nor are they caught up in the hype of this Valentine's Day nonsense when u have free reign of all the watering holes within (reasonable) driving distance since, on that day, all the other rummies are trying to get their liming visas stamped for the rest of the year.

Ah, yes...no liming Visa.

I think the main reason I really cherish my single friends is because as I settle onto each plateau in my life, everything eventually becomes constant and unchanging. Single friends are much more dynamic. U get to critique their latest passing fancy and thrash the old one. U get to say cool things like "he's not good enough for u babes" and "why are you selling yourself short for that bitch, man..fuck her sister and post it on youtube!" , which is slightly more entertaining than talking about whatever it is couples talk about with other couples...I wouldn't really know, I just zone out and txt a single bredrin to meet me there so I have a REAL drinking buddy besides that moustache sitting at my table who keeps his balls in his wife's purse.

Single friends fuckin' rule!

Can't buy me...

2008-02-29T19:24:00.002-05:00

...class!

Plain and simple. U can roll in ur million dollar ride and still drive like an inconsiderate asshole. U can sport the latest brands or the best Armani suits and not know simple etiquette. U can have the cushiest job and keep ur corner office like a pig sty.
Class isn't ur status in life. It's not knowing the difference between a dessert spoon and a soup spoon. It's ur comportment, ur mannerisms, ur outlook..it's how u treat others. When will ppl understand this?

The measure of a man is by the virtue of his character, the goodness of his deeds and the size of his heart; and I'll admit, I'm no saint.I spurt the occasional cuss-word (and trust me, those occasions are pretty frequent). I pick my nose in traffic, fart when I think no one will hear it and occasionally take a quick sprint on the shoulder when I'm 30ft from the turning lane and the clown in front is too busy on his mobile to notice the lane is moving.

These things don't make me any less of a person. I give what I can, when I can. I take the time to greet the janitor or the doorman. I put my trash in my pocket 'till I get to a bin. I stop traffic for pedestrians to cross. I rescue baby seals from poachers and save dolphins from dragnets...okay, maybe not the last part, but u catch my drift, right?I'm no role model. I'm just ur average joe with an average flow, doing his part for the benefit of his fellow man. Are you doing yours?

Laundry

2008-02-29T15:39:00.013-05:00

Laundry is one of those things that you either get completely right or wrong. Nothing smells worse than wet laundry left overnight in the dryer. Then there's the ninja mission of trying to get to the basement without anyone seeing you in clothes you should've abandoned years ago. Stuck wearing that rainbow bright T-shirt you never quite knew how you got, luck always has it that you bounce into that chick you've been looking to bang.

Let's not forget the looks of disgust you get while transferring the rancid pile back to the wash. The ever pervasive scent diffusing throughout the room. Yes...laundry is truly delightful experience that I increasingly look forward to every week.

One day I will be a laundry pro, until then I'll keep a watchful eye on girls I catch seeking a peek through the crotch of my pj's.

P.S. ladies, I'm huge.

Trini Women vs. NYC Women

2008-02-28T00:24:00.041-05:00

As a Trinidadian male in his twenties living in New York, I make it my business to get out and meet women. Pussy is a powerful thing: strong enough to force me out of the comfort of my warm room, possibly shave, throw on some good threads and hit the cold, expensive, unforgiving, concrete jungle known as the city. All in the prospect of tail...or maybe, though unlikely, someone girlfriend worthy.

Women in NY are completely different to those in Trinidad. The likelihood of an arbitrary lay in Trinidad is as realistic as Manning's vision 2020. It'll take your typical middle income 'beta' male months, if not years in some cases, to get into a Trini girl's panties. After months of the same old shit (Zen, 51, Morvino, Movie Towne etc) the poor son of a bitch will have nothing more than an empty wallet and an elephantiasis sized case of blue balls to show for it. His aspiring conquest will end in gross dissapointment, the prospect of vagina nothing more than a frugal dream. Left with only a Sunday Punch and Palmela to comfort him he'll once again cry himself to sleep wondering where it all went wrong.

Take the same guy and throw him in NY, perk up his style, teach him some game and he'll be rackin' 'em up. Most women in NY are nothing more than a WYSIWYG plethora of makeup, Louis Vuitton and broken goods funded by daddy's credit card. Instant gratification is the name of the game and if you play your cards right you'll come out a winner. Play'em wrong and they'll suck you dry for all your worth financially and emotionally.

The emphasis on conservative Catholic and Hindu religious traditions in Trinidad has reinforced the notion of: "make him wait". Logic like that will turn your potential nice guy boyfriend from:

into

The socialite logic for these girls is one of 'brakesin' d bull', as we say back home. Trinidad is too small too be promiscuous; your slutty reputation will get you known as the village bicycle faster than you can say Dana Alleyne.

If you've lived in Trinidad for most of your life, you've come to terms with the fact that you'll see the same fucking people at the same fucking places week after week, year after year until you die. Think Bill Murray in Groundhog Day except with no sex.

Despite being Trinidadian, I'm often taken for your typical American dude. Needless to say my accent has assisted in establishing the divider. Openers are helpful for any situation when approaching a woman but often irrelevant if she hears my voice. It's a nice ace in the hole that has procured numerous nights of

This is all well and good of course, but grows increasingly trite when searching for a woman of substance. Most NY women I've met are corporate driven slaves. So caught up in a mans world and rising to the top they forget what it is to be a real woman. The rat race comes at a price as they abandon their feminine sensibilities and replace courtship with happy hour and eHarmony.com. In like manner, desirable traits and skills like cooking and cleaning, are acutely and conveniently labeled as the sexist expectations of a misogynistic pig.

The other half are emotional shipwrecks. The pump and dumps who's past relationships have left them in shambles. They're so busy compensating with huge Prada sunglasses, eyeliner and blush they forget to fix the real problem. When it comes time to get to know them, conversation is often dull and hollow leaving little to be desired, much less a second date.

I feel no sympathy for women swayed into bed by the exotic nature of a foreign voice and some travel stories. Shit, she's enjoying the sex as much as me and at the worst gets a good story to tell her friends. If anything I commend American girls for giving it up as compared to snobby, spoiled, trini girls. I praise them for at least thinking for themselves. Edit: they let the O.C., Sex and the City, Vogue and MTV do that. But hey, as crazy and fucked up as city girls are, at least they put out. As beautiful and wife worthy as Trini girls can be, too many are anal about sex.

Even if it's for all the wrong reasons I can't help but prefer these City girls, at least for now. Shit, I'll pretend my name is Carlos and blurt arbitrary phrases in Spanish like, "No pantalones danza en me casa, ahora, ahora!!" if that's what gets me laid. Does it bother me? Fuck no. In a world of burgers, pizza and tacos I'm the callaloo, the exotic outsider that offers so much prospect. I'm that breath of fresh air she's been waiting for in a city of guidos, emos, meatheads and posers. I'm the worldly traveler full of class and culture. As the infamous DCB might put it, I'm winning the game of life.