D Melting Pot

So one of my boys (I'll call him J) called me tonight about a girl problem. He's somewhat religious and quite passive when it comes to gaming women. I'm a bit worried about his future because he needs to wake up and start approaching women he likes instead of waiting for them to come to him.

He's been seeing this chick who's blatantly told him she's looking for no strings attached sex. Now while this may be a no brainer for most, he actually likes the girl. He hasn't told her this (thank God) and is caught between starting things on a sexual basis or waiting it out to see if the long term relationship is feasible. Now while he would prefer a relationship out of it, he has absolutely no issues with simply getting laid. Saint or not, he's a man with needs. (thank God x 2)

Over the weekend he got pretty far with this chick who unsurprisingly initiated all the physicality:

• She wanted to go back to his place to watch a movie (+10)
  
• She got "cold" and wanted to share a blanket (+5)
  
• They started kissing (+10)
  
• She mounted him. (+100)
  
• She grabbed his hands and placed them on her babylons. (+1000)
  

At this point there's no doubt...she wants the ultra piggalicks combo ...nothing can go wrong...my boy is going to tap that ass left, right, and center. All he need do is start taking off her clothes and exploring her body IE start taking charge. Well, somehow she managed to fall off of him, don't ask me how.

As one would expect, everything went downhill from that point on. He tried to rekindle the heat of the moment but it was too little too late, the mood was lost; she said it was getting late and left.

Since then she's been hitting him one liners and is "unusually" busy. While he's replaying the scene wondering where it all went wrong she strokes her ego letting his calls go to voice mail. What happened? He hesitated...he hesitated because he thought sex might void any opportunity for a relationship with this girl.

As hard as it is to say this, my friend is exhibiting the traits and sensibilities of a beta. Whereas an Alpha would have capitalized on the opportunity presented to him concerning himself with long term propositions only AFTER satisfying his desires, a beta attempts to rationalize the situation. He does not understand the chaos and confusion that is the female mind! If a girl isn't looking for a relationship nothing you say is going to convince her otherwise. Now instead of penetrating wet vagina he's back to beating his dick silly.

Women are complicated creatures that over-think, over-analyze and confuffle themselves. They are good at things like multitasking for the very same reason they are crazy...the can entertain 10-12 thoughts at any one time. It's impossible to correlate why a women did or didn't want to have sex. As such, there's no sense in looking back wondering why...you just need to strike while the iron is hot. Concern yourself with emotional matters afterward...the fact that you managed to get her to initiate sex means that you're long past earning her trust, and have managed to build sexual tension.

After analyzing his situation I began to ponder why she was so forceful and urgent in trying to seduce him in the first place. It's possible she could have just been a slut. Now, although this could be true, being the timid saint he is, J's not the kind of guy to knowingly go after the village bicycle.

More realistically she could have been a horny girl that fell for his lack of game. Lack of game you say? Well think about it: while she was putting out all the signs for him chase her, the poor guy never picked up on them. His lack of interest must have drove her nuts. Instead of J putting in the effort that she expected and is used to, he accidentally flipped the script..forcing her to commit to him if she indeed wanted the gratification of knowing that she's an object of desire. Besides jealousy, attention starvation is one the prime things that will drive a girl nuts.

Poor guy....he should have escalated things while the her panties were wet. Being the passive and inexperienced guy that he is, J made the mistake of relinquishing control when he should have taken charge. Every woman wants to be seduced, not be the seducer...at least not all the way in. He should cut his loses and move on.

His only alternative is playing the jealousy card to elevate his social status. Jealousy is a very powerful emotion. Nothing makes a girl go ape shit faster than seeing a guy she likes out with a girl just as attractive if not more than herself. The intent here is to show that you're fun and desired, making her feel like she gave up a good catch. Girls pull this shit on guys all the time, so it's fun to beat them at their own game. You always want what you can't have or think you can't have.

What happens now? It's doubtful he'll be able to grab her back...I think he's already in the friend zone. She's already obtained the emotional validation she's been seeking. Moreover, the tables have turned; evident in the fact that he's been trying to contact her more than he usually would. He shouldn't stroke her ego by calling her. Let it go and and next time don't stick, learn from this experience and move on-always more fish in the sea.