Catch and Release

The game of dating is a universal conundrum. How do you choose to acquire your catch. Should the would be fisherman guide his passion via the experience and patience of the ol' rod and lure or enjoy his hobby redneck rambo style with a stick of dynamite to put the odds in his favor?

Dating a girl usually means you end up in one of two scenarios: trapped in the friend zone or hierarchized as something worth more among the plethora of other men she hangs about. The former means you start dating a girl and end up bating yourself as you become enrolled by infatuation and 'onenitis'. You compound your thought process debating whether to push further or step back. The divider between these two states is measured by your ability to walk the fine line of ambitious flirtation (good game) without looking needy in the process.

They say women are ones who become 'clingy'...emotionally attached. Some argue this from a genetic and evolutionary perspective. A woman may reproduce once every nine months while a man may spread his seed like a wildfire if he so chooses. Science has changed the name of the game and women of our generation can have sex as often as they like. Women are no longer clingy.

Women of this generation are quickly learning that they can control who and how many men they see and when the coital gates of heaven will be opened to the said wooer. Where as a woman 200 years ago would attach to man for physical, emotional, financial, and environmental security, the modern day woman trumps your he-man testosterone levels with the notion of independence.

This has trickled down as part of a larger issues dubbed "4th wave feminism". Though I would divulge into the idiosyncrasies that make up this sect, let's just say these are the type of girls that always let your calls go to voicemail and text message like the receptionist of yesteryear. They often must encompass these skills because they are dating several men at the same time. From the time things escalate they try calling the shots with the infamous "I don't know what I want right now." rolleyes Every time I hear this line my bullshit alarm starts goes off. Every woman knows she wants to fall in love, it's their greatest aspiration and desire. I look at is as an excuse to have guys tag along on a ride called embellish me.

Men on the other hand fall in love several times every day; it happens on the subway as a beautiful woman boards your cart. Later again in the grocery aisle; while walking down the street; and later that night at a bar. Like an orchid they are captivating in a very unique way. Tomorrow will be the same as today, we cannot help but be memorized by such creations. Sculptures of flesh parading's a beautiful sight that you get so easily lost in. Such a feeling can only be attributed to love. Ah yes...we men are visual creatures caught in a genetic trap of optic stimulation that compounds the senses in a most awe-inspiring way. But...

Every once in a while a girl comes along who has the potential to be something more. Her words are full of small wisdom; her sentences idioms; and her silence a chance to catch your breath. You're not one to wear your heart on your sleeve but find it slipping away like a dog trying to catch it's own tail.

This viscous cycle has become a part of everyday life. Should one hunt for the kill or simply for the thrill of the hunt, i.e. 'greater' satisfaction. Ones hunger, in every sense of the word, will inevitably arise again, therefore it is paramount to know which form of pleasure brings you the greatest satisfaction.

To answer this you must determine your taste. You must be true to what gives you the most pleasure and in so doing brings about a sense of equilibrium, content, a feeling that lulls over you in a most unassuming manner. Do you seek sexual gratification or forgo such pleasure for emotional homeostasis? Finding the latter will often mean a Congo case of blue balls so prep your pr0n folder for the long haul.

The problem as a man is though instant gratification comes in both the physical and emotional forms we have been brought up to conceal such vulnerabilities. Instead we pursue the former as a more temporal means of appeasement, knowing that such pacification will allow us the strength and fight for it another day. Think of this recourse as being the road more taken; the route to temporal bliss so as to avoid the complication of cognitive solitude. Everyone needs love, but it's better to get your 'fix' in the moment then to sit idly wondering where to find the cure (aka tabanka)

Finding sex is easier...there will always be someone there. Finding love is always, in the very context of the feeling, putting yourself on a limb, at risk, open for exaltation. In a world of 6.6 billion people, it's a lonely feeling if you can't find another person to love you. No one wants to feel like a loser, so people close off to the expectation of finding it. You definitely don't want to find yourself becoming 'emo' in pursuit of an emotional connection you may never find. That said...I think that's why people play games. They're caught in this struggle between putting themselves out there (being vulnerable) or closing off (wearing a mask, distracting yourself with work, projects, drug/alcohol abuse) or hiding yourself (tons of makeup, fashion accessories, texting while walking down the street with big designer sunglesses) from the world.

Therefore, let us ask - should you let it go? Should you let your heart lead you astray with a woman? No, lessons of the past have taught you not to let go so easily. Everything about being a man is encapsulated by ones ability to control his feelings. A raging tornado of altruism and indifference constantly logisticizing what to show the world.

I say wear your heart in you chest, and pound it like an 800lbs gorilla screaming from the top of a building. If she's a true woman, she'll see somewhere behind the jungle of your mane, that buried deep below the hairy chest lies a heart in some shape or form (give her HD trailer like glimpses now and again to keep the tension and excitement.)

It's time for natural selection, all girls that don't fit the bill can hit 30, cut their hair and turn into cat lovers. It's time for men to awaken from their long slumber...I will speak more of this in my next installment. Until then go brush up your poker game.


  1. Chic Noir said...

    visting via feminite x and your comment there.

    while sexist those diagrams are very cute. may i suggest giving shoping a larger section.  


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