D Melting Pot

My friend "J" has decided to be more proactive about his personal life. This was not only surprising, but makes me proud knowing that the blog has accomplished some good. What's usually nothing more than just a bunch of aimless meandering has actually served a small function for one reader. Initially I was apprehensive passing "J" the URL to "Don't Stick", second guessing myself about what his reaction might be. Looking back, I'm glad I did, while no one enjoys criticism "J" was objective enough to take something positive from it. Anyway, "J" sent me the following message a short while ago:

So I've been thinking about stuff and i think need to be out there just racking up notches (as the DCB would say) for a bit. These 2 more years in grad school might actually be good for me. Its gonna be hard, or different at least and I'm kinda sorry that this experience happened so late...kinda wished i woke up 5 years ago...but im still young. The past five years haven't been a total waste though as i think i developed socially alot. Also, certain things are happening which i never though would have happened before. i am able to hold the attention of an entire room or crowd of people and lead in certain activities. Maybe this is because i am on average 2 years older than the college crowd but say what... its getting me attention from girls. I think this is one of the things that attracted her to me. Also, there was a turn around date were we kinda just limed as equals, though i took the lead when decisions were being made. After that she was txting me to hang out and it was obvious her interest was peaked. It was only when the time came for things to get physical that i screwed up. And I'm glad i did. There is a saying in capoeira that you learn 10x as much falling down as you do taking someone down.

Anyway, you were right in your blog that i cant just wait for things to happen. Also, i think I'm investing too much i just trying to date one girl i really like rather than a few that are so-so. This girl is still playing games but its ok. Im over it and moving on.

Get Em!

Every once in a while I search craigslist for shits'n'giggles. If you've never passed through the W4M section, try it some time, you'll be amazed at some of the posts.

It's no surprise most of the girls are wharf rats. Where as a good looking woman gets attention from men every day (be it looks, free drinks etc) an unattractive woman gets squat and must therefore seek alternative means to be reminded of her value. By making a single post, her inbox is flodded and she can sift through hundreds of emails with offers of penis.

Despite the plethora of undesirables, every once in a while you find what looks like a diamond in the rough; a seed of hope in a pile of Congo shit.



Now while this chick isn't anything amazing (I'd give her a 7 at most), she's a super model compared to what you normally see. I refer to exhibit WTF:



Imagine waking up next to that Where's batman when you need him?

What was going through her head when she decided to post this pic? Once my shallow tendencies subsided, a wave of melancholy fell over me as I contemplated how difficult life must be when you're cursed with the mutated genes of a penguin and heroine addict. On a more serious note, it must suck donkey balls for girls who aren't considered objectively good looking by society. Moreso when you're just plain fugly.

I'm especially picky when it comes to emailing a craigslist chick. Like a myspace/facebook profile they'll often take the best of 100 photos making sure it's from the shoulders up. Last thing you want to do is go on a blind date with a girl who looked like an 8 and turns out to be a 5 or 6.

A persons vocabulary and writing style can say a lot about their character. Let's analyze some of todays posts:

Need Someone Extremely Wealthy for Help - 19

Translation --> I'm going to ass rape your credit card

cute chubby and frustrated - 24

Transaltion --> I'm overweight and ignorant

Can you impress me? - 24

Translation --> Can you stroke my ego? I seek validation.

Can I please have your attention? - 23

Transaltion --> I'm a control freak

Princess looking for her Prince no frogs - 24

Transaltion --> I live in a fantasy world of unrealistic expectations

I may be strange, even weird, but there is never a dull moment! - 22

Transaltion -->


This girl looked like the catch of the day. Here she is again. Her post read:

Really I have no idea why Im using this route to date.

95% of the girls that post on CL begin with, "I don't know why I'm here." ...some kind of cushion for the bruised ego. She continues saying:

Im actually at a loss for words here and thats never usually the case. Its hard to word it correctly to reel you in so I figure Ill just ramble and tell you who I am and what I want. I think if you really like somebody and trust them, they should be trusted to make the right decision when it comes to females as friends and going out with the boys. I would like to get to know someone before I jump into any kind of relationship. I mean the worst that can happen is that I make a new awesome friend, RIGHT?

blah blah blah...

I was a gymnast and can still do the splits--so I am very flexible. If your interested send me a message and i will go into further detail.

JACKPOT

sidenote: on second thought, this girl sounds too good to be true. I'd faster expect it to be an April Fool's prank.

One thing required to succeed in life is desire. Now some might say Duh, but when I say desire I mean true passion. I mean the kind of burning aspiration that you cannot get rid of year after year. Sure your priorities will change over time, and you will have temporal goals that supersede your desires but nevertheless they remain omnipresent. That is true desire...it never fades.

One of the things which has remained constant is my passion for cars. Since the age of 14 I've devoted an almost obsessive passion for performance cars. If I saw one I'd lustfully stick around to take in it's sculped form, obsessing over it like a pedophile outside kindergarten. So much so I'd even harass the owners in a feeble attempt to cop a ride. Kind of sad now looking back, but you do stupid things when you're in love.

When you can't have something you desire you will find some means to fill that void. One such way is to displace it with some vicarious means through which you can pretend you're living the dream. People do this all the time. When a girl wishes she were popular and considered hot, she starts following celebrity gossip and idolizing vacuous idiots like Paris Hilton. When a guy can't get laid and watches porn he's doing nothing more than displacing himself with the guy giving the stick; and since your girlfriend doesn't look like this:


you close your eyes and pretend she does while having sex.

With the exception of masturbation (strengthens the forearms ), these are idle ways to keep your brain entertained as you sulk about the life you wish you had . If you want something bad enough, if you have a burning desire, you will not let anyone or anything stop you from obtaining it. Can't get girls then either go to the gym or work on your game (or both).

Now although I play devils advocate I am, or rather, was guilty of this. I used to envy my friends whose parents bought them a nice car, and sulk because my parents, who could well afford it, didn't do the same. Although I still don't have my dream car, I'm thankful they didn't spoil me with another materialistic possession. Although I would have held it in higher regard than any other, it would have procured a lazy mentality whereby I would expect affluent things through good grades; nothing more, nothing less.

Since I couldn't have the car, I started to kill time by drawing it and reading articles. While I lived vicariously through the writer and his experience of driving the car, it helped me to learn more about it. My passion grew so deep, I began subconsciously retaining anything I read. I surrounded myself with people who had similar passions and my thirst for knowledge continued to grow. I picked up 3D and used it as a means to procure the imagery stuck in my head. Had I not been passionate about cars, I don't think my 3D skills would be at the level they are today:

One day a friend showed me how ECU tuning could control the car's computer. The changes made to the computer unit would effectively harmonize the sum of the parts. It's kind of like cooking: you can have all the ingredients but if you don't follow the recipe you'll end up with cow shit instead of creme brule. I immediately found this interesting for it would allow my knowledge to be put to good use. Moreover I realized that few people were taking advantage of such technology.

What started as a means to fill the void has turned into a small business I run in my spare time. I provide a tuning package and service for people fortunate enough to own my dream car. Although small in terms of profit, the lesson to be learned is in the principal: I used my desire to bring myself fortune. Instead of bitching about when I'd be fortunate enough to gain my want, I used the energy constructively into something that brings me just a little closer to that reality. There's nothing quite so empowering as taking an educated risk and finding success through hard work.

I took the initiative to instead ask: how can I get my dream car? What am I doing that I love that can get me 1 step closer to making my dream a realityRobert Kiyosaki talks about this in his book "Rich Kid, Smart Kid", whereby simply changing your cognitive disposition opens your mind to creative thinking you would have otherwise never entertained.

Open your mind and start channeling your desire into something positive. Thinking you'll never afford X, Y and Z will keep you stagnant and close your mind off from exploring creative ways and opportunities to accomplish your goals and desires. Keep an open mind and your aspirations close at hand...love them long enough and you'll find a way to start monetizing them.

Stop and KNOW that YOU control your life; not the bank; not the corporations; not even the money. YOU forge your own destiny in your willingness to rise above things that inhibit that which brings you happiness.

Sometimes a 1 step back = 2 steps forward. I have learnt this the hard way. life has a funny way of teaching you things. I've come to learn that my best only comes out during the worst times. I used to be one to give up easily...from the time something goes wrong I want to say fuck it. I would question God and ask why the hell things turned out like this. But my mother has taught me that you MUST take on the trials that life throws at you. This is something easier said than done, that's why you must first be completely confident of your desire...that's why it must be an ever burning flame in you. So that whe time are tought, and the flame subsides you remind yourself that the juice is worth the motherfucking squeeze.

Don't be distracted. Today, technology and multimedia bombard every crevice of our lives. Use them as a tools, not as a nullifying means to procraste. Your destiny that is impacted by every single decision you make.

Attack your fears head on. Nothing will build confidence faster than shedding your inhibitions.

Define your principals and maneuver through life with them in mind. Let your conscious guide you and not some fastidious opiate that regurgitates paradoxical hegemony to the masses.

Equilibrium is directly proportional to your mental and physical health. IE too much of anything is not good. Instead of living and thinking black and white, try to live in the gray.

Every mistake is a lesson learned. Even if you don't come out clean on the other side, you'd have learned something from the experience. The journey, not as much the result, will be the part you remember most, the part you tell your grand kids about.

Your life is worth nothing more than the some of it's parts. Make sure that when you leave this planet, this body, that you do so knowing the fragments you've accumulated create a mosaic unlike any other.

So get your ass up and go do something with your life, for time lost is time never to be found again

So one of my boys (I'll call him J) called me tonight about a girl problem. He's somewhat religious and quite passive when it comes to gaming women. I'm a bit worried about his future because he needs to wake up and start approaching women he likes instead of waiting for them to come to him.

He's been seeing this chick who's blatantly told him she's looking for no strings attached sex. Now while this may be a no brainer for most, he actually likes the girl. He hasn't told her this (thank God) and is caught between starting things on a sexual basis or waiting it out to see if the long term relationship is feasible. Now while he would prefer a relationship out of it, he has absolutely no issues with simply getting laid. Saint or not, he's a man with needs. (thank God x 2)

Over the weekend he got pretty far with this chick who unsurprisingly initiated all the physicality:

• She wanted to go back to his place to watch a movie (+10)
  
• She got "cold" and wanted to share a blanket (+5)
  
• They started kissing (+10)
  
• She mounted him. (+100)
  
• She grabbed his hands and placed them on her babylons. (+1000)
  

At this point there's no doubt...she wants the ultra piggalicks combo ...nothing can go wrong...my boy is going to tap that ass left, right, and center. All he need do is start taking off her clothes and exploring her body IE start taking charge. Well, somehow she managed to fall off of him, don't ask me how.

As one would expect, everything went downhill from that point on. He tried to rekindle the heat of the moment but it was too little too late, the mood was lost; she said it was getting late and left.

Since then she's been hitting him one liners and is "unusually" busy. While he's replaying the scene wondering where it all went wrong she strokes her ego letting his calls go to voice mail. What happened? He hesitated...he hesitated because he thought sex might void any opportunity for a relationship with this girl.

As hard as it is to say this, my friend is exhibiting the traits and sensibilities of a beta. Whereas an Alpha would have capitalized on the opportunity presented to him concerning himself with long term propositions only AFTER satisfying his desires, a beta attempts to rationalize the situation. He does not understand the chaos and confusion that is the female mind! If a girl isn't looking for a relationship nothing you say is going to convince her otherwise. Now instead of penetrating wet vagina he's back to beating his dick silly.

Women are complicated creatures that over-think, over-analyze and confuffle themselves. They are good at things like multitasking for the very same reason they are crazy...the can entertain 10-12 thoughts at any one time. It's impossible to correlate why a women did or didn't want to have sex. As such, there's no sense in looking back wondering why...you just need to strike while the iron is hot. Concern yourself with emotional matters afterward...the fact that you managed to get her to initiate sex means that you're long past earning her trust, and have managed to build sexual tension.

After analyzing his situation I began to ponder why she was so forceful and urgent in trying to seduce him in the first place. It's possible she could have just been a slut. Now, although this could be true, being the timid saint he is, J's not the kind of guy to knowingly go after the village bicycle.

More realistically she could have been a horny girl that fell for his lack of game. Lack of game you say? Well think about it: while she was putting out all the signs for him chase her, the poor guy never picked up on them. His lack of interest must have drove her nuts. Instead of J putting in the effort that she expected and is used to, he accidentally flipped the script..forcing her to commit to him if she indeed wanted the gratification of knowing that she's an object of desire. Besides jealousy, attention starvation is one the prime things that will drive a girl nuts.

Poor guy....he should have escalated things while the her panties were wet. Being the passive and inexperienced guy that he is, J made the mistake of relinquishing control when he should have taken charge. Every woman wants to be seduced, not be the seducer...at least not all the way in. He should cut his loses and move on.

His only alternative is playing the jealousy card to elevate his social status. Jealousy is a very powerful emotion. Nothing makes a girl go ape shit faster than seeing a guy she likes out with a girl just as attractive if not more than herself. The intent here is to show that you're fun and desired, making her feel like she gave up a good catch. Girls pull this shit on guys all the time, so it's fun to beat them at their own game. You always want what you can't have or think you can't have.

What happens now? It's doubtful he'll be able to grab her back...I think he's already in the friend zone. She's already obtained the emotional validation she's been seeking. Moreover, the tables have turned; evident in the fact that he's been trying to contact her more than he usually would. He shouldn't stroke her ego by calling her. Let it go and and next time don't stick, learn from this experience and move on-always more fish in the sea.

I decided to clean the entire apartment today by the following (in order of importance):

1. I am a neat person and the place was getting out of hand
2. My parents are due to arrive in NY tonight
3. I was in a good mood and had the time

After completion I proceeded to write my room mates a 3 page letter. It contained the following:

Hey Guys,

While you were gone I had some spare time and noticed the place was in a mess so I decided to Spring Clean as they would say:

• Washed all Dishes
• Cleaned Stove
• Reorganized and Cleaned Fridge
• Bathroom, Toilet, Shower, Mirrors
• Cleaned all Windows
• Swept all rooms
• Mopped all rooms + bathroom with bleach
• Made up beds
• Reorganized Living Room
• Cleaned/Organized Desks
• Reorganized all cupboards

The reason I did all this is because I want to show you guys that I’m concerned about the space we live in, not just my section but the entire space since it affects all of us. I look at you guys like younger brothers; as such I wanted to teach you responsibility and cleanliness through positive reinforcement.

I noticed a few days before you all left that the sink was full of dishes so I made the effort to wash them all. I know it’s hard to wash a plate or glass when the sink is so full because the fossit can’t reach et al. Washing them didn’t bother me, it’s somewhat therapeutic in fact to take time and clean something…gives you a sense of fulfillment that you’ve done some good…not only for yourself but others as well.

What did bother me however was no more than a couple days later the sink was full of dishes once again. I thought to myself, “If everyone would just wash their dishes we wouldn’t have to deal with this mess so often.” I mentally refused to wash the dishes as I hadn’t made the mess. I thought to myself I will faster put the dishes in the tub or in everyone’s room before I wash them so people start being proactive about cleanliness around here. In this way EVERYONE would be affected and would start pulling their weight.

As the days went by with everyone gone for Spring Break I was alone in 1706. I started cleaning my room because my parents would be coming in a few days. A few days had passed and the dishes began to smell really bad so I was forced to wash them once again. It just wouldn’t be acceptable to have my parents or a friend here with the kitchen and living room in such a smelly mess. One thing led to another and I found myself reorganizing the cupboards, sweeping the living room, the bedroom and so forth until I decided that I was going to spring clean the entire apartment.

I believe that anything worth doing is worth doing well. I believe in taking pride in anything I do and leading by example. With that said I expect you to maintain the clean environment which I have procured for us today. Let me repeat: irrespective of tennis, the gym, class, studies, going out, eating, drinking, shitting, and sleeping I expect you to maintain the clean environment which I have so thoughtfully provided for all of us.

I didn’t have to do any of this, but did because I wanted to set an example. I wanted to show you guys that if you put in an effort, people will take notice. I know you guys have it in you to be better and I want to bring it out instead of brining you down. So I altruistically attempted to show you that I care by cleaning up your mess as well.

It took me an entire day to do this. Times along the way I wanted to stop and leave a note saying that since I did 75% you guys need to clean the bathroom or this. But I figured I 1 man did what is really the responsibility of 4 then it would wake you guys up. I am holding you guys in high regard, because I’m usually not so patient and giving.

With that said I’ll digress into cunt mode. Here’s not what I ask but demand of you. AT THE LEAST clean shit that you use. Respect is earned, not given. I have shown you guys love and respect today. They say no good deed goes unpunished and well…I’m tired of being everyone’s bitch and maid.

After reading this don’t come to me and say that you don’t make this mess, or don’t do that. I don’t give a flying fuck who did it, nor am I concerned about figuring it out. This is not a Hardy Boys book, I don’t have time to figure out who the fuck made what mess. YOU KNOW WHAT MESS YOU’RE MAKING…STOP FUCKING DOING IT.

Since I don’t know who makes what mess, Peter will pay for Paul and Paul will pay for ALL. I know I don’t drink coffee, I know I wash my wares, I know I always fill the water bottle after using it, I know I always throw things IN the garbage (not AROUND or AT for those of us unfamiliar with prepositions). I know I turn off my PS2 and wrap the controllers after using it. I know that without rules and order in life chaos reigns.

If this place gets EVER gets untidy again I will fuck up your shit up. I suspect who’s been making what mess and haven’t been calling anyone out on it to save you the embarrassment. From here on out be warned:

If I see a pile of dishes in the sink that I know I didn’t create I will throw them like Frisbees into your room, more specifically in your bed hopefully while you’re sleeping. I swear on my grandfather’s grave I am not joking with youà piss all over the toilet and I will piss in your bed, I will throw your rotten food in with your clean clothes. I will do all of this with a big smile and absolute confidence. I’m not going to be a cunt about a few dishes in the sink or some stuff in the fridge, but when I see someone’s shit in the fridge for weeks getting rotten or a huge pile of dishes In the sink then I will be a cunt.

Make a sincere effort or else I will fuck your shit up…there are no if, ands or buts about this. I do not want to see this happened again. This is your first and ONLY warning you will ever get. You don’t need to come and tell me thank you. Tell me thank you by showing me you care; through actions, not words. If push comes to shove and we end up in a dirty place again don’t come crying when I fuck your shit up. Act like a man and I’ll treat you like one, act like an inconsiderate child and I’ll have to teach you a lesson.

With Love,

Patrick

Looking back I wish I had taken pictures of the "before" so you could really appreciate how much work I did. Oh well...there's won't be a next time. Here are a few more shots of my awesome work:

Study if you lived in the jungle and had to survive.

• That feeling of discomfort obtained while standing next to a stranger in a confined space.
• The primary notion that one is required to ask rhetorical question such as "What's up?" or "How ya going?" if you even vaguely know the person.
  
• The way you can tell that person is in a good mood if they ask "What floor?"
• The secondary notion that you never, ever, under any circumstances make eye contact.
• The fact that you both stare at the flashing LEDs so as to avoid eye contact.
  
• The insecure idiot who presses his floor button multiple times like it's going to turbocharge the elevator and hit warp speed.
• The smelly fart you let out while alone, only for the elevator to stop on a new floor.
• The fact that every living soul must reach for their dead signal cell phone as if God is about to call.
• The pimple face lovers that are making out, almost as if to rub in your face like they're hot shit.
• The retarded conversations people either begin or continue once aboard. No one cares about your score in Guitar Hero you dildo --> take a hint and STFU!
• And the worst of the worst: the fat, lazy alien cocksucker who takes the elevator to the 2nd or 3rd floor (always happens when you're running late).